Motorsports Blog

Motorsports blog and writing by St. Louis based artist Shane Walters

BLOG: EMINEM Calls Danica Patrick A Vacuum On MMLP2

November 2, 2013 by Shane Walters

EMINEM Calls Danica Patrick A Vacuum Listen Below

Buckle your seatbelt, rapper EMINEM is set to release his highly anticipated and quite possibly his final album on November 5th and if you’re easily offended then this isn’t the CD or article for you. While the CD hasn’t yet hit the store shelves just yet it has managed to leak onto the internet and put millions of ear sets to good use. The new Slim Shady CD features two references of NASCAR drivers. One is the mention of Danica Patrick while the other, in a different song, a mention of racing legend Dale Earnhardt.

While EMINEM rarely speaks on NASCAR one could assume he is a fan of motorsports. In the past, he actually owned an ARCA Racing Series team that was formally based in his home state of Michigan. While not the driver himself, his name was featured as a title sponsor and co-owner of Carter / Eminem Motorsports.

In the mashup track titled ‘So Far’ Eminem mentions he met NASCAR driver Danica Patrick while she was in nylons and a skirt, he followed by explaining a conversation he either had in his head or had in reality, calling her a vacuum. Most likely this ‘vacuum’ term is in reference to giving blowjobs and emphasis on rumors she ‘blew her way to the top’. While there is no way to prove the theory EMINEM relays, it has been the talk of the internet surrounding Danica Patrick and most female athletes who excel in not just male dominated sports but all jobs in life as well.

Another theory is that Danica Patrick is a vacuum because she sucks at her job, which is another term thrown around by NASCAR fans in connection with a sentence on Danica Patrick. I’m not personally saying she sucks, I’m just pointing out the possible reasons EMINEM used the word vacuum to describe Danica Patrick.

After calling Danica Patrick a vacuum EMINEM continued, calling himself a dirtbag. He then explained Danica and himself would be a perfect match. For those that didn’t catch the link there, a dirtbag fits into a vacuum.

I wouldn’t go so far to say this line is disrespecting Danica Patrick or that the two actually ever really met. EMINEM is known for placing names of celebrities into most of his songs for the sake of putting a smile on your face as you listen and laugh. The names of choice usually mean nothing more than the fact they rhymed with a word used in the lines previous or following.

Eminem ‘So Far’ Lyrics

My nerves are bad, but I love the perks my work has
I get to meet famous people, look at her, dag
Her nylons ran, her skirt snag
And I heard she drag-races, *burp* swag
Tuck in my Hanes shirt tag
You’re Danica Patrick (yeah) work, skag
We’d be the perfect match
Cause you’re a vacuum, I’m a dirtbag

Danica Patrick was not the first driver on the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series tour to be mentioned by EMINEM on the new album. In the MMLP2 hit single ‘Rap God’ he also references fan favorite Dale Earnhardt.

He says he’s racing around the track. The term track used here is not a a racing track but the actual music track and racing describes to the speed of his rhymes, a simple play on words and reference to the line that follows. He then raps he’s the Dale Earnhardt of the trailer park. Claims that both himself and Dale Earnhardt are legends and that EMINEM himself is a white trash god. Explained, EMINEM grew up in a trailer park and he’s saying he is the Dale Earnhardt of the trailer park. In other words, EMINEM says he’s the best (like Dale Earnhardt of NASCAR) and one of the most respected things to come from a trailer park.

Eminem ‘Rap God’ Lyrics

I’m beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
The way I’m racing around the track, call me Nascar, Nascar
Dale Earnhardt of the trailer park, the White Trash God
Kneel before General Zod this planet’s Krypton, no Asgard, Asgard

The lyrics of both songs, much like poetry can be interpreted many ways. I simply pointed out many of the possible explanations. I’m not usually one to do that as in general it’s a complete waste of energy.

As a die hard and long time EMINEM fan myself, I learned in 1999 he’s a genius when it comes to writing. Lines intertwine at warp speed. So many cross references through the course of a single verse can cause the actual meaning of lyrics used to have endless possibilities. The lyrics of wit can be interpreted many ways from the perspectives of each listener. That’s a result of the constant intertwines and continuations or play on the lines previous and following the current syllable, or even word play on lines from previous albums. In this latest case, EMINEM briefly gazed into past lyrics via short snippets on nearly every song featured on the new MMLP2, re-igniting early works.

I usually just learn the rapid-fire machine gun firing lyrics, sit back, listen and enjoy my ear orgasm without looking into it too far beyond that. However, for the sake of this article I thought I should try my best to explain just some of the lyrics from my perspective, to help provoke a thought or two of your own.

EMINEM was crowned artist of the decade for selling the most albums of any artist from any music genre between 2000-2010. The MMLP2 is close to EMINEM at his best. Hilarious, embarrassing, serious, murderous, creepy and tasteless lyrics push out songs that will blast sound waves on earth as long as laughter is considered an enjoyable human emotion.

“I’m not here to save you, I’m just here for the ride. So, let me entertain you and everything will be fine.”

Author: Shane Walters

EMINEM ‘So Far’ – Danica Patrick Reference Begins At 1:53

EMINEM ‘Rap God’ – Dale Earnhardt Reference Begins At 2:40

BLOG: Bristol Motor Speedway The Last Great Colosseum

August 26, 2013 by Shane Walters

Hold on tight I’m taking you to Bristol Motor Speedway the World’s fastest half mile

Bristol Motor Speedway the last great colosseum. NASCAR fans fill the seats, 160,000 of them, twice a year to watch an underground boxing match of a race on a high-banked short track hidden within the smoky hills of Bristol, TN.

Drivers dive nose first into turn 1, drag the brake until the car magically rotates at the center of the 30 degree turn. Back into the gas and onto the straightaway. Briefly catching their breath on the short 650 feet straight away only to hold it in and do it all over again in turns 3 and 4. Sinking into the seat, pushing the car right to the edge of the wall at the center of the corner with a car directly ahead and another up your ass. Breath you’re on the straight away again. Now do it 499 more times.

Every lap is a struggle to hold the 800 hp cars in the right direction, it’s right on the edge of control at any given moment. It has to be, teams run high 14 second laps to grab the pole while last place runs in slim .5 seconds behind. The drivers are forced to push to car to the limits or choose to run last. They are not chasing tenths, they are in search of hundredths of a second that will give them an advantage over the 250 mile night race.

Aggression is a requirement to win at Bristol Motor Speedway. If you take a quick look at the all time winners around the half mile. Darrell Waltrip, Kyle Busch, Dale Earnhardt, Cale Yarborough, Rusty Wallace, Kevin Harvick, David Pearson and Jeff Gordon are all really aggressive drivers. Racers who are fast but lack aggression like Kasey Kahne will consistently run second. If you want a win at Bristol you have to take it.

160,000 seats make Bristol Motor Speedway the 8th largest stadium in the world. Why so many people? People will travel long distances to the middle of nowhere Tennessee for the show. Willing to pay high ticket prices for the tingling feeling received as 500 laps wind down quickly to 495 completed, first and second are nose to tail with just a handful of laps to go. Anything could happen during and after the race.

I visited Bristol Motor Speedway twice a year for 15 years straight, an 8 hour drive each way. It was worth every mile. Until the track rebuild, I stopped logging those miles in 2008. Still I watch every practice and race lap every year but the new track configuration is no longer worth the drive. I’ve seen the best of Bristol and those days have come and gone. It’s still the best track in the world and I stand strongly behind that statement but it’s just not what it once was.

Fans will always stand and cheer with excitement as a driver wrecks another driver under caution laps. It’s exciting. It’s much like a fight during a hockey game. The game is on pause but fans are still royally entertained. It’s the same concept but these drivers are strapped to race cars and they will use them as a weapon.

Fans like to watch a brawl, not just the physical altercation between fists. While tempers often fly after the race as we saw this weekend with Kevin Harvick, it’s much more then that. Drivers are brawling with their own cars and the drivers in front of them throughout the length of the entire race. A simple rub just to agonize the driver ahead and hopefully drive him to make a mistake, all so you can grab the all desired position that he has over you.

The layout of the track gives you multiple options. Dive to the bottom and hope for the best. However, the competitor at the top of the track will impede your progress when you reach the exit of corner side-by-side, preventing you from using up the full lane on the exit of 1 and 4. Frustration kicks in and it’s simply time to go. Use the bumper and put them in the wall as you drive on past. Hopefully, they wont come to a stop and drag you into the wreck with them.

The track has been reconfigured multiple times over the years. Most recently, 2007 when track owner Bruton Smith attempted to destroy the single groove race track idea with multiple degrees of banking in the turns. The banking is now increased as you venture further up the tricky race track. Bristol Motor Speedway is now somewhat usable on both the top and bottom but realistically it’s still a single groove racetrack. The track rebuild only moved the preferred lane from the bottom of the track right against the yellow line to the top of the track right against the wall.

I, like most fans, prefer the old Bristol Motor Speedway. It’s still exciting to see drivers run right against the wall but this makes the track bigger and the bump and run nearly impossible. Bump and runs can no longer be applied, if you do it you will put the driver in the wall. When drivers ran the bottom of the track you could bump them and they would generally save it before hitting the wall, only losing a few spots. Now, the bump and run is applied a lot less often because the consequences are much larger.

In the past, drivers would race off the corner and dive under on corner entry to take the position. Sometimes, the driver ahead would attempt to slam the door shut but they were already there and there’s no backing out of it. You will either go around or slide up the track. Regardless of what you think of the old track, passing was easier on the old layout. When you couldn’t do it without contact you could always do it with contact and usually both drivers would continue to race another lap.

Every lap turned would be another lap searching for that driver that gave the bump and run. It’s another level of excitement added to the race within the race. You wouldn’t see drivers run side-by-side for 30 laps on the old layout and that’s ok. They were bumper to bumper and eventually you would expect contact. Now, they run side-by-side lap after lap and nobody goes anywhere. The bottom is just too slow.

Other tracks are fast but they lack excitement. Racing is much more than just speed and with the tracks added to the NASCAR tour in the past few years you would think NASCAR disagreed. However, this year a dirt track was added and finally it looks like the series is heading in the correct direction.

I wish Bristol would tear up the whole track and go back to basics. 36 degrees of banking top to bottom. This would force everyone into the same line, bumper to bumber, A slow car would stack up the field, and quickly 10 cars would all be lined up ready to pounce at any moment. It would bring the excitement of the bump and run. That would be racin’ the way it outta be.

Author: Shane Walters
Featured On: Racing News Network

Bristol Motor Speedway The Last Great Colosseum Photos

BLOG: Worlds Collide As Formula One Returns To America

2012 Formula One Returns To America (Circuit Of The Americas) The Track

November 15, 2012 by Shane Walters

It’s been five long years since the premier form of motorsports has crossed the pond into the United States. Primarily dominated by oval racing fans, America’s corn fields and high rise buildings alike are filled coast to coast with rabid fans who follow the NASCAR circuit. However, this form of oval racing fails to reach the radar of anyone on the other side of the ocean. Wherever the destination, Formula One brings the world with it.

During the 2008 season, F1 had 600 million sets of eyes glued on the television tube (per race), nearly double the U.S. population. In comparison, this makes the NASCAR viewing audience appear a small sewing circle at just 5 million. Furthermore, the cumulative F1 television audience was calculated to be 54 billion during the 2001 season.

F1 is the undisputed polar opposite of what the general American expects to see when they enter a racing circuit. Bumpers are replaced by wings, roofs replaced by helmets. Full blown rocket ships on wheels will enter the Circuit Of The Americas in Austin, Texas this weekend making the oversized NASCAR stock cars look like small ill-handling trucks. While in 2012 their isn’t much of anything stock on a stock car, F1 is the future of everything automotive. For years, these formula teams have laid new technology groundwork while simultaneously paving it for auto manufactures worldwide.

The purest form of racing in the United States isn’t done on pavement. Here our tracks are carved in dirt then covered in late models or sprint cars who slide sideways and turn right to go left. While we have an equally strong base of asphalt tracks and fans, the same types of cars will be found on both with a few minor changes.

Europe on the other hand grows their motorsports fan base through the use of karts, similar in size but much different than your Target shopping carts. These are really really fast karts, topping 125 miles per hour on a regular basis with built in, yet unnatural, seat warmers as these buttox holders scrape along the racing circuit. Karting is the only form of racing machines capable of reaching g forces equal to F1 cars as they turn on dimes simultaneously hopping over the curbs, chasing the hundredth of a second advantage.

These two very different worlds of motorsport will again collide this weekend for the first time in five years. Tomorrow, practice 1, cars will be unleashed on the shiny new circuit for the first time. The first purpose built Formula One track ever constructed in the United States. Built around a state-of-the-art 3.4-mile circuit track with capacity for 120,000 fans and an elevation change of 133 feet, the facility is designed for any and all classes of racing – from motor power, to human power.

Previously, the United States Grand Prix took place at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, that was 2007. Two years prior arguably the most controversial sighting in Formula One history, as over half the sporting teams refused to compete. These teams were obligated to use a set of tires that were faulty for the IMS banking and sure to cause disaster. Only a handful of cars using a different brand of tires crossed through turn 1. Following the event, tensions ran extraordinarily high between track owner Tony George and F1 boss Bernie Ecclestone who was later quoted saying it did not matter to him whether or not there was a Grand Prix in America.

Most importantly, as an American I’m thrilled that for this weekend only it’s not required I stay up until 4AM just to watch a practice session.

Written By: Shane Walters

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BLOG: F1 Korean Grand Prix An Eye Soar On The Formula One Tour

October 16, 2011 by Shane Walters

Formula 1 returned to Yeongam, South Korea for the Korean Grand Prix hosted at the Korean International Circuit. The track has taken some criticism over the past two years, it’s one of the newest tracks on the Formula 1 calendar, a virgin to F1 just last year and yet it’s appearance and major design flaws such as it’s unsafe pit exit would say otherwise.

Most new tracks are designed with a magnitude of run off room which provide safety and damage control given an off track venture from one of the the multi millon Formula 1 machines. In the case of the Korean International Circuit the eye soar of unpainted concrete walls are placed just inches to the outside of the track for a large majority of the lap. The complex itself appears to be more of a construction site over a glamorous F1 facility and it has been reported after last years F1 event the gates were locked and untouched until one week prior to this weeks event. The circuit lacks the angelic beauty we expect to see from any modern F1 event when compared to recently built tracks like Dubai, Singapore or even India which might also explain the lack of spectators over the weekend.

It was the first time all year a car other than a Red Bull would start on the pole. Lewis Hamilton who started P1 grabbed the early lead heading into turn 1 as Vettel slid into an unfamiliar 2nd with Button trailing. The two Ferrari’s who made up row three also failed to make up any ground at the start.

As lap 1 continued tiny raindrops began to fall as Vettel worked the McLaren Mercedes of Hamilton. He dove to the inside several times for failed attempts but before the lap was complete he would take away the top spot. Massa the Ferrari teammate to Alonso worked his way to the top 3 as Button locked up his front tires forfeiting the position but Webber quickly took both positions away and found himself in 3rd, it was the first time all year Webber advanced his starting position on lap 1. Meanwhile, at the front as if we have all viewed this movie before, Vettel pulled a 1 second gap on Hamilton as they crossed the line to complete the first lap of the 55 scheduled.

As the teams anticipated rain they would all avoid pitting as long as possible on the already relatively short lived Purelli tires. By lap 17 most front runners had made their pit stops. Unfortunately, 7 time F1 champion Michael Schumacher would bring out a safety car leaving parts all over the track as Petrov drove clear over his rear wing and nearly took out Alonso as well. Schumacher with his calm and collected personality was interviewed shortly after the incident, “That’s Racing” and said he had no idea Petrov was coming. As the safety car pulled in Vettel again resumed as the leader with Hamilton in pursuit.

By lap 31, Webber teammate to Vettel had put his Red Bull back into the show, latching right onto the rear wing of Hamilton. This put the top three machines under a blanket which was a somewhat unfamiliar sight thus far during the 2011 season of the Vettel show. The rear tires began to quickly fall apart on the McLaren Mercedes and Webber saw his opportunity to pounce. As the two began swapping inside to outside, corner after corner Hamilton was able to hold off the position just as the team reported, “box this lap” instructing Hamilton to pit for tires.

As Hamilton pitted the Red Bull of Webber also hit the box. Usually, the Red Bull team is untouchable when it comes to pit stops. However, this time Hamilton would beat him to the end of the pit lane holding the position. The battle would resume right where it left off before pitting as the two sliced and chopped each other all the while swapping positions. In the distance you could see the 4th place car of Button closing as these two slowed.

20 laps remaining, Vettel pits and returns to the track in a league of his own turning the current fastest lap of the race. The gap was 9.9 seconds back to Hamilton.

As the battle for the 2nd spot on the podium resumed Hamilton radio back to his team for more front wing, as the front of his machine was losing grip to the racing surface. “You’ve got everything we’ve got” replied the McLaren Mercedes team. Implying the max front end downforce adjustments had already been made.

10 laps remaining, Vettel ahead by 11.2 seconds. Webber still pressing Hamilton for 2nd with Button pushing hard to join the battle. The Red Bull machine reached 312 KPH compared to the McLaren at 292 KPH at the straight’s end, showing the massive performance or gearing difference in the two machines. Again, Hamilton began to see the rear tires degrade impairing the performance of the McLaren.

7 laps remaining, Button has closed to within 1 second of Webber allowing him to use the DRS (Drag Reduction System), a new piece of F1 technology introduced to facilitate more passing in the competitive F1 series. It allows a transformable rear wing to open, essentially removing the downforce of the rear wing for more straight line speed over the car ahead. However, as Webber saw Button closing he forced a move to the inside of Hamilton grabbing the 2nd position, moments later as the two crossed the DRS zone the rear wing slid open on the McLaren and Hamilton regained the position.

4 laps remaining, Vettel in his own zipcode. Webber sets the fastest lap of the race and still stalking Hamilton. Button and now Alonso in 5th following closely emulating Button’s style. 2, 3, 4 and 5 all under a blanket as the end starts to appear and lapped traffic comes into view. Radio from Ferrari team to Alonso, “Use it up.”

2 laps remaining, Radio from Alonso to team, “I give up, I give up.” He is still in the DRS zone under a second behind Button.

Final lap, Hamilton sets the fastest lap of the race and continues to hold off Webber as they both pull a gap on Button and Alonso. Vettel crosses the line to set the fastest lap of the race on the final lap and grab his 10th win with Red Bull this season. Hamilton holds off Webber for 2nd and Alonso fails to reach Button.

At the end of the day the track may not be as spectacular visually as we expect to see from the highest division of the motorsports industry. However, as race fans all we should carry anxiety about is the quality of racing itself and while Vettel dominated the event the rest of the field showed a fair share of hair raising action. At the same time the racing complex has the opportunity to add to the intensity of the racing such as the case of Monoco or Singapore where multimillion machines are racing through city streets or in Dubai where the building structures themselves give the appearance that we are racing in the future on a faraway planet much like the actual design of these dream machines. Many will ask as they did last year, “Should we return to Korea?”

Written By: Shane D Walters

Grand Prix of Korea Results

1 Sebastian Vettel • RBR-Renault

2 Lewis Hamilton • McLaren-Mercedes

3 Mark Webber • RBR-Renault

4 Jenson Button • McLaren-Mercedes

5 Fernando Alonso • Ferrari

6 Felipe Massa • Ferrari

7 Jaime Alguersuari • STR-Ferrari

8 Nico Rosberg • Mercedes

9 Sebastien Buemi • STR-Ferrari

10 Paul di Resta • Force India-Mercedes

11 Adrian Sutil • Force India-Mercedes

12 Rubens Barrichello • Williams-Cosworth

13 Bruno Senna • Renault

14 Heikki Kovalainen • Lotus-Renault

15 Kamui Kobayashi • Sauber-Ferrari

16 Sergio Perez • Sauber-Ferrari

17 Jarno Trulli • Lotus-Renault

18 Timo Glock • Virgin-Cosworth

19 Daniel Ricciardo • HRT-Cosworth

20 Jerome d’Ambrosio • Virgin-Cosworth

21 Vitantonio Liuzzi • HRT-Cosworth

22 Pastor Maldonado • Williams-Cosworth

23 Vitaly Petrov • Renault

24 Michael Schumacher • Mercedes